So, they said they’d go out with you. Now, what!?
I’ve got some brilliant introvert date ideas for you, my friend. These ideas will work for any kind of person but also won’t be too draining for introverts by the end of it. Well, let’s face it. A date for us is going to be draining no matter what.
However, these activities will make it a bit easier to get through by maximizing your time to focus on connecting and getting to know each other. And hopefully, minimize the awkward silences.
Exactly where does that awkwardness come from?
The Astonishing Difference Between Dating an Introvert vs an Extrovert
Extroverts thrive in social settings. They gain energy from meeting new people and social interactions. Introverts, on the other hand, are drained when spending time with others. It’s no wonder dating can be very different for both.
When you’re dating an extrovert, the sky’s the limit. They don’t mind new experiences, or meeting new people, and can typically talk forever (if you let them). Introverts may enjoy these things as well but only in small doses, and they would need prep time before doing so.
Furthermore, they’d much prefer a quiet, more intimate activity, especially if they’re getting to know you for the first time. The activities listed below are some of the best first-date ideas for introverts.
You may think it’s much easier if introverts just date another introverted partner. They already understand each other’s quirks and general preferences. However, there are some pros and cons to an introverted couple.
What Do Introvert Couples Do?
Introvert couples typically gravitate toward things within their comfort zone. This includes mostly calmer activities with fewer people. Or at least situations where interaction with others around you is not expected.
They enjoy new experiences as well but, as mentioned, not often and with lots of advanced notice. The potential downside to introverted couples is they will keep to only what is comfortable for them and not explore new things.
The other potential downside is poor communication since both of them prefer to use as few words as possible, even when something is bothering them.
However, with some intention toward avoiding these potential downsides, introvert couples can be a beautiful thing. You’ll find yourself with someone that completely understands your quirks and preferences and won’t be annoyed by them.
So, as a fellow introvert, I wouldn’t avoid dating an introvert partner. Just be prepared to communicate more than you may want, and attempt to be a little bit more adventurous from time to time.
Where Do Introverts Meet People?
Introverts meet people in the same places as anyone else. It just may take them a little longer to connect with someone.
Opportunities that work well for introverts to meet someone they’d like to date are those that include prolonged exposure. Prolonged exposure means they have multiple instances of being around a person they’re interested in.
This gives them time to get to know the person a little and prepare themselves to talk to them a bit more. Examples include work, team sports, ongoing volunteer activities, or classes to learn a new skill or hobby.
Singular instances of meeting someone, like … say … at the grocery store, typically only leads to further connection if it’s an extrovert pursuing an introvert. It rarely works the other way around.
What is the Best Way for Introverts to Date?
Now that we’ve gone over ways that introverts meet people, here’s a few tips on the best way introverts date.
Firstly, the worst way for introverts to date is to try to force themselves to act like extroverts. It will be draining and frustrating, and ultimately you’ll end up pretending to be someone you aren’t. Never a good way to start romantic relationships.
Try these tips instead:
Plan to Be Successful
If you are planning a date with an introvert, or if you are an introvert inviting someone else on a date, plan something you know you or they will be comfortable with.
It’s ok to start with something simple. Build from there as you learn each other’s social comfort level. Many forever love stories started in a coffee shop. 😉
Be Honest About Your Interests
Extroverts have strong personalities. Their excitement about something can be hard to overcome. But if something they suggest as a date sounds like a total nightmare for you, be honest.
Let them know it sounds like fun but maybe another time (when you’ve had plenty of rest and have mentally prepared yourself for it). It will be a much more pleasant date if you’re both prepared to enjoy it.
Rather than suffering through something and counting the minutes until you can go home. Believe me, they may be super excited but they will pick up on your lackluster demeanor. After a certain point, no introvert is good at hiding this.
Be Open to New Experiences (With Boundaries)
In addition to being honest about your interest, keep an open mind about new experiences. Just be upfront about what you need to fully enjoy them such as advanced notice and a clear start and end time.
Having just that is often enough to stay in the moment and enjoy yourself because you know ahead of time when you’ll be able to recharge.
Pace Yourself
Lastly, pace yourself. Introverts take time to warm up to people and we can be somewhat aloof at times. Take the time you need to get to know someone.
Invite them little by little into your mental and emotional space at a pace that feels natural and comfortable for you. Forcing yourself to do so too quickly will only lead to stress and anxiety.
As you’re getting to know someone else, give these introvert-friendly date ideas a try.
21 Charming Introvert Date Ideas
1. Museum or Aquarium
Both are quiet, intimate, and packed full of good conversation starters. Don’t feel you have to stick with the traditional art museum. Look for any type of museum that would be a great place to learn or experience something new and fun.
2. Coffee
Coffee is a great date idea because it’s simple and brief. It allows for natural conversation to get to know someone but an easy opportunity to leave when ready.
Pro tip: have some conversation starters or questions in mind just in case the awkward silence creeps in.
3. Botanical Garden
Botanical gardens have benefits similar to museums and aquariums but with an added element of romance.
You’d be surprised how much adding a bunch of flowers and greenery to the scene can change the vibe of your date.
4. Horseback riding
Horseback riding is fun, relaxing, and creates shared memories. It can be done with just the two of you or a small group.
5. Local Park
People underestimate local parks. Most parks have walking trails, gardens, or fountains. These make for easy places to meet and have a conversation.
It’s almost like a moving coffee date with fresh air. Just bring your beverage of choice, or even some ice cream if it’s warm out.
6. Beach
I love the beach and some of us are fortunate enough to have one nearby. A short beach trip also makes for a simple yet romantic date.
I mean really … How many times have you seen couples walking on the beach in movies!?
Even if you don’t want to walk, sitting on the beach is just as nice. Just pack some wine, snacks, and a blanket.
7. Picnic
Similar to the beach, pack a little more food and you’ve got yourself a picnic.
Picnics can be in a variety of places as long as you’re allowed to be there. Get creative. One of the best picnics I’ve been on was at an outdoor movie festival.
8. Romantic Dinner
This one’s a classic. Find out what your date likes to eat and pick a nice restaurant. Try for something more grown and sexy versus family-friendly.
Pro tip: check ahead to see if the restaurant accepts reservations and if so, make one. It could really throw your dinner date off if you end up waiting an hour or more for a table.
9. Game Night
Game night is a great opportunity to get to know someone. You’ll see how they handle challenges, winning, and losing. All good things to know.
Plus, if you want to take some of the pressure off, you can make it a double date by inviting another couple. Or just invite a couple of friends to join you if you want to keep it more casual. Just remember to keep it small.
10. Movie Night
Skip the movie theater and have a movie night on the couch. Level up the fun by including a snack-making session before you watch the movie. This provides an opportunity to talk before you start watching.
11. Mini Golf
Mini golf is a fun activity with a little friendly competition. It’s also challenging. It’s a great option to let your personality shine. Look for an adults-only mini golf course if you have one locally.
My husband and I did one of these and it was one of the best date ideas we’ve had. It was a lot of fun. Little golf clubs + little golf balls + booze = entertainment for all. 😂
12. Sightseeing
Pick a spot in your city to visit as if you’ve never been there. Take selfies and everything. This is a great way to create shared experiences which is a fun way to build a relationship.
13. Live Music
Go see a local band and maybe even try some dancing. Or, since introverts don’t like to be the center of attention, watch other people dance. It may just inspire you to join them.
14. Hiking
If you and your date are more active types, hiking could be a great activity to learn how you can work together, and support each other. Or, just take it easy and enjoy nature.
15. Zoo
This one is best when the weather is warmer but not too warm. Unless you’re ready to see the sweaty and irritable side of your date.
Level up the fun by making a game out of it. Add in truth or dare, or just one get-to-know-you question, at each animal exhibit.
16. Fishing
Admittedly, fishing is one of the outdoor activities I have less experience with. However, the one time I went fishing, I enjoyed it and still remember the laughter and conversations we had.
17. Dessert
This one is simple but very effective for conversation. It’s also something you can build on.
Pick a dessert and talk while enjoying it. You can plan a second date to try that same desert in different places to see which one you like the best.
18. Farmer’s Market or Craft Fair
A lot of times you’ll find these two things together in the same space. Either way, it’s fun visiting different shops and supporting local businesses.
You may even find a craft you can make together, or a new recipe to try.
19. Produce Picking
Depending on where you live, there are usually places that allow the public to pick fruits or vegetables depending on the season. Apple picking and strawberry picking are my favorites.
20. Pool
Pool games aren’t just for kids. You and your date can have fun and get some exercise by jumping in a pool and playing a few water games.
21. Cooking Class
Learning together is always fun and yet another opportunity for building shared memories. There are even couple’s cooking classes designed with date night in mind.
Introvert Date Ideas
There you have it! 21 introvert-friendly date ideas that are sure to bring you closer without overwhelming you. Use this list to plan a lovely date with an introvert.
Found someone you really like? Try to work your way through the whole list! It should definitely make for an interesting love story.
