Introverts and social activities don’t normally mix. Saying social activities for introverts is like mixing bananas with peanut butter. Wait … That’s yummy!
Anywho, you know what I mean. Introverts tend to avoid social interaction whenever possible. However, some activities are focused or intimate enough for them to tolerate. Albeit, for short amounts of time.
So, if you’re an extrovert looking to find enjoyable ways to spend time with your introvert friend, pay attention.
How Do Introverts Enjoy Social Events?
Short answer: in small doses. Introverts don’t dislike people in general but being around people is draining for them. Consequently, introverts typically avoid social situations or participate for a limited amount of time.
This is hard for extroverts to understand because being around people is usually energizing for them. Alone time is what extroverts struggle with more.
Nonetheless, extroverts and introverts still spend time together despite these differences. Here are a few tips that may help with that:
Tips On Socializing With An Introvert
Keep these tips in mind when hanging out with your introvert. They can help make the difference between a great time and a miserable one.
Keep it Small
Introverts can better handle engaging with others in small doses and small groups. They much prefer an intimate, more casual environment with close friends or family members rather than large crowds or a loud party.
Some introverts even get social anxiety from being around a lot of people. Small groups are an easy way to start or expand your social life.
Skip the Small Talk
Introverts are not good with small talk. We don’t find it enjoyable and often present as awkward because of that.
Instead of spending a lot of time chit-chatting, however, we are usually open to a deep conversation with those we care about. We find this to be a more meaningful use of our time and social energy.
So when spending time with introverts, don’t be surprised if they don’t strike up a bunch of witty banter. Instead, try asking them a specific, open-ended question. That is far more likely to get them talking than menial questions about their day or the weather.
Give Us Prep Time for New Experiences
We find comfort in what we know. That doesn’t mean we don’t like visiting new places or having new experiences. It does mean that we need time to mentally prepare for new things.
So let us know ahead of time if you want to do something new. Give us a little time to do our research and plan to be rested when we go.
Highlight Similar Interests
We do enjoy learning more about you and what you’re into. However, we can go deep and long about something if we know it’s a mutual interest. Sharing common interests is a good way to open a conversation with an introvert. Just be sure to ask specific questions to keep the conversation going.
My suggestion would be to focus on a mixture of both topics – differences and similar interests. Both are great topics for open discussion.
Listen for Cues
Listen for cues that they are getting tired or uncomfortable. In small group settings, they are usually tired if they are not saying much. In large settings, if they are not saying much, they are usually uncomfortable or trying to figure out the right place to join the conversation.
As their more extroverted friend, asking a question would be a great opportunity to give them an opening. If they seem tired, discretely ask them if they are almost ready to go. They’ll appreciate your consideration, and that they didn’t have to suggest it themselves.
What Not to Do When Socializing With an Introvert
Since I shared tips on socializing with an introvert, I would be remiss not to share some tips on what not to do. Here are just a few that have stood out in the past from personal experience. Don’t do this:
Call Them Weird
Introverts may be different from our extroverted societal norms but that in no way means they are weird. Calling someone weird is rude on any given day of the week.
Introversion is simply a personality type that indicates how we use and restore our social energy. Extroversion is the same thing but extroverts don’t recognize that because theirs is the dominant trait.
Sadly, I hear this word thrown at introverts a lot simply because they do not respond to things the way extroverts do. So, please don’t do this.
Expect the Same Reaction
Introverts are not extroverts. An obvious statement, I know. But extroverts still tend to be surprised when introverts don’t share their enthusiasm about extroverted things.
Don’t take it personally if they don’t want to do certain things with you because it isn’t personal. They are just managing their energy reserves and comfort level the best way they can. They value close friendships and want to spend time with you but need to do so at a pace they can manage.
A helpful tip is to plan things you’d like to do with them at a time when they are likely to be more rested. After a long day at work, if they have a social job or work in an office, is usually not that time.
I know my lowest energy time used to be Friday evenings after a long week of work meetings. I would almost run home to my comfort zone to relax.
Ignore Them Because They are “Too Difficult” or “Boring”
I’ll just say it plainly. If you are ignoring your friend because you have deemed them to be one of the above, you’re just not being a good friend. Take the time to learn what works for them and find a way to meet in the middle.
I think you’ll find they are open to lots of different things if they have time to mentally prepare for them.
Expect Them to Adjust to an Extrovert Environment
Extroverts tend to do this without even thinking about it. They create an environment that only works for extroverts, then expect introverts to just adapt. And often blame them when they don’t or can’t. Don’t be that friend.
For example, if you are having a few friends get together, incorporate different activities. Include some activities for large groups and some one-on-one activities or opportunities for smaller groups to interact.
Guilt Them for Wanting to Leave Early
Introverts know when they’ve had enough. Expect your quiet friends may want to leave early if it’s a very social vibe. Be ok with that. At least they showed up at all which probably took a lot of energy for them.
You’d be surprised at how much more likely they are to show up next time if they know they can easily leave when they are ready. And that they can leave without feeling bad or awkward about it.
Talking about the dos and don’ts of socializing with introverted friends sparks the question of how they make friends to begin with.
How Do Introverts Make Friends?
Introverts tend to make friends at a much slower pace than extroverts. It takes us a while to feel comfortable enough to spend extended amounts of time with someone. Pair that with our natural aversion to small talk and meeting new people isn’t particularly high on our priority list.
That being said, they typically meet people in the same places that extroverts do – work, hobbies, church, volunteering, etc. The difference is every person we spend time with or relationship we maintain takes a lot of energy.
Because of this, we are very selective about who we spend our time with. Once someone is in our inner circle, they are usually there for the long haul.
Now that you have some dos and don’ts, you’re ready to find some fun activities to do. When you’re fortunate enough to include one or more introverts in your social circle, give this list of introvert-friendly social activities a try.
15 Social Activities for Introverts (And the Friends that Love Them)
1. Book Club
All the introverts I know are avid readers and love a good book. A book club is a perfect way to combine two scenarios in which introverts do well: small groups and focused conversation. Throw in some wine and snacks and you’ve got a winner.
2. Game Night
Game night is great because it comes with built-in engagement and conversation topics. No need to come up with awkward small talk. So, break out your favorite board game, card game, or video games.
3. Learn a Hobby
Learning a hobby together is fun and builds a new skill or creative outlet. This is great for introverts as a way to settle their busy minds, and it’s something you can both share and talk about. Plus, you can learn some of the best hobbies with online courses or YouTube videos.
4. Dancing
Dancing works because it doesn’t have to involve talking at all. It also involves people busy doing their own thing, ergo not making your introvert friend the center of attention. Taking dance classes turns it into a new hobby and a fun outing.
A good idea to try this out is to find a local salsa night. Many restaurants, bars, and community centers have salsa nights. These events start with lessons by an instructor or a professional dancer, and end with free dance to practice what you learned.
5. Volunteering
Volunteering is a fulfilling way to spend time together on focused tasks, and give to others in the process. Win. Win.
You can build homes, serve at a church, work at an animal shelter, or clean up a local park. There are tons of opportunities to give to your community. Doing so with your introvert friend creates a shared experience you can both be proud of.
6. Movies
Most introverts are typically movie lovers. However, I caution you with this one. They will want to actually watch the movie. This can be challenging for extroverts who tend to enjoy talking through movies. Introverts find this annoying. 😒
Going to the movies is a good way to get out. But if you want to avoid a crowded theater, make it a movie night at home. At least this way if you have a burning comment or question, you can pause the movie first.
7. Small Group Trips
Taking a trip with a small group of friends is an exciting social activity, even for introverts. Just make sure to incorporate some quiet time in your itinerary so they have a chance to recharge when needed.
These can be a big vacation-sized trip or a weekend getaway somewhere within driving distance. Either way, a group trip should produce a good story … or several.
8. Local Tourist
Some of the best activities are marketed to tourists. Get to know your city a little more by being a local tourist. Pick a local tourist attraction and explore it as if you are a visitor to your town. Take photos to commemorate the experience.
9. Group Exercise
Think of exercise classes like Zumba or yoga. This could even include a fun run or race. Bonus points if the race raises money for a good cause.
Group exercise gives enough of a distraction to minimize awkwardness, but not so much that you can’t also include moments for conversation and connection. Plus, body movement is a great way to recoup from a stressful day.
10. Team Sports
Team sports work for similar reasons as a group exercise session. Fun but focused activity. Moreover, this is a great way for introverts to meet new people without the awkwardness of small talk.
Keep in mind, it doesn’t have to be extreme sports. My husband and his coworkers had a lot of fun by joining an adult dodgeball league. Although one could argue that dodgeball can be considered extreme, lol.
11. Interest Groups
Interest groups focus on learning, appreciating, and/or participating in things like bowling, chess, art, music, etc.
Connecting with an interest group provides ready-made topics of discussion and easy points of connection. All good things that make socializing easier for introverts.
12. Theater
Going to a stage show can be a fun, unforgettable experience. However, there is the chance that this, like the movies, is something they will be very focused on rather than connecting with others.
13. Shopping
Shopping is a good one-on-one activity. I would say three at most. Just make sure that everybody has the chance to shop where and for what they want.
The last thing an introvert wants to do, or anyone for that matter, is to be dragged around to a bunch of stores just to help you decide what you want (unless it’s something special like a wedding dress).
14. Coffee or Drinks
Getting coffee or drinks is another activity best for spending time with one or two others at most. Make sure to give plenty of space for everyone to talk.
Extroverts tend to dominate a conversation without realizing it so practice pausing. Furthermore, be ok with a few seconds of quiet after a question.
15. Dinner Party
We round out our list with a good ol’ fashion dinner party. Have a few close friends over for a meal, and maybe even combine it with a game night.
You can even make it a potluck, or a wine and dessert party if you don’t feel like cooking a bunch.
Pro tip: use conversation starters and question games to keep everyone, even the quiet ones, equally engaged.
Social Activities Your Introvert Friend Won’t Bail On
Introverts are wonderful, quirky people that you will not regret having as a friend. Moreover, if they count you as a friend, know it means you are someone they truly value. Taking the time to plan some activities that work for both you and them is worth it.
So share this list with a friend and take turns trying one or two that appeal to each of you. I’m sure you’ll land on something you can both agree on. Good times are ahead!