Ever ask yourself, “is so-and-so thinking about me?” or “do they even care?”
You would not be the first to wonder how to make an introvert miss you. I’m sure anyone with a quiet friend or loved one has thought this at some point.
The simple answer for how to make an introvert miss you is to understand who they are, respect their boundaries, and give them space.
You might argue this makes sense for any personality type. Let’s get into some of the differences in how this works for introverts specifically. But first, a little context …
How Do Introverts Approach Relationships?
Introverts approach relationships slowly. It takes a lot of energy for them to build a relationship with someone else, particularly someone new. So, they have to approach relationships by getting to know you in small doses.
The best way to deepen relationships with introverts is to find ways to talk to them. Seems simple, right?
I don’t mean small talk. That’s the best way to get an introvert to run away from you. I mean finding a topic of similar interest or something specific about them and having a long conversation about it.
It’s true, introverts don’t enjoy small talk but, they do enjoy deep and meaningful conversation. Find your way into a deeper conversation with your quiet friend and you will be on your way to a stronger relationship with them.
How Do You Know If an Introvert Misses You?
One glaring way you know an introvert misses you is if they are texting or – whoa – calling you.
Introverts tend to avoid unnecessary communication with others. So, if they are reaching out to you, believe me, they’ve been thinking about you enough to want to talk to you. Psst, that’s what an introvert missing you looks like. 😉
If they’re trying to make plans to see you, that’s a whole other level of missing you! Go with it! However, what if the opposite happens and they don’t contact you at all? You may feel like they’re ignoring you but that’s not necessarily the case.
What to Do When an Introvert Ignores You?
If an introvert is ignoring you, keep in mind it may just be their natural personality traits on display. Introverts can be somewhat aloof so what you see as ignoring you, maaaay just be Tuesday for them. 😂
There’s no anger or offense intended. The best way to approach an introvert ignoring you is to say something to them. Send a text and ask how they’re doing. Most likely you will find, while you thought they were ignoring you, they were completely oblivious.
One other thought about this for my dear extroverts. Even though it brings you joy, don’t try to go for the random call or unannounced drop-by. Introverts do not enjoy or respond well to this.
Conversely, if you feel pretty sure they’re not ignoring you but still wondering if they miss you. This list will give you 25 ways to make an introvert miss you for all types of relationships.
How to Make an Introvert Miss You
As an introvert, I recognize that I, and other introverts, maintain different types of relationships. Those relationships require different approaches. For convenience, this list includes some general ways to make an introvert miss you, and by relationship type – friends, dating, and family.
General Ways to Make an Introvert Miss You
These are some general ways that should work for all types of introvert relationships. These tips are a great place to start for new relationships.
1. Show You Understand Them
Being misunderstood is nothing new for introverts. However, a person who tries to understand our quirks and where they come from is valued by the quiet types.
It’s a relief not to have to explain yourself over and over. So, if you want an introvert to miss you, try starting with understanding what being an introvert really means.
2. Give Them Space When Needed
Part of being an introvert is needing alone time to recharge. Give your introvert the space they need when they’ve exhausted their social energy.
It may sound counterintuitive to give someone space to get them to miss you. But introverts appreciate having alone time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have enough energy to spend time with you. Or anyone else for that matter.
3. Respect Their Boundaries
In addition to giving them space, make sure to respect their personal boundaries. For example, if they haven’t invited you to their home, it’s because that’s their comfort zone. Most introverts don’t like socializing in their home, or if they do, it’s under controlled circumstances.
Respecting their boundaries makes them feel less social pressure, making you someone they feel they can spend time around.
4. Get to Know Them
Show your introvert you’re interested in having a closer relationship with them by getting to know them. And I don’t mean asking them their favorite color.
Find something they’re into and express genuine interest. Even if it’s not your thing, they’ll appreciate your interest and enjoy sharing it with you.
5. Don’t Expect Them to Be Extroverts
There are many things extroverted people love but introverts hate. Small talk, crowds, anything that requires being the center of attention.
Don’t expect them to magically start enjoying these things. Be ok with them not being a social butterfly, especially around new people. If you can accept that they shine in other types of social interactions, such as one-on-one time, this will place you at the top of their mental list of approved people.
6. Be Kind
This one is pretty basic but still valid. Kindness goes a long way in building a healthy relationship. One of the best ways to be kind is to accept people for who they are, and not try to make them conform to what you think they should be.
This is an important thing in the life of an introvert. As mentioned, we are constantly judged for not being more extroverted. We definitely value people who don’t do that.
7. Find Common Interest
Common interests are key to connection. A connection might happen without similar interests but it will be a lot stronger with it.
Even if you’re not looking for a deep connection, finding an activity you both enjoy or an experience you share is a great way to start. You’d be surprised how many connections I’ve made just from encountering other military veterans.
Ways to Make an Introvert Friend Miss You
Close friends with an introvert and not sure if they care to see you again? Try following these tips.
8. Don’t Show Up Unannounced
As I mentioned before, introverts see their home as their comfort zone. Subsequently, they like it to be a controlled environment. Especially since it’s also their retreat when they’re feeling drained.
So, when people show up unexpectedly it is not a pleasant or welcomed surprise. If you want to visit them at their home, make a plan to do so in advance. It’s a game changer between happy to see you vs annoyed to see you.
9. Don’t Call If You Can Text
We don’t like talking on the phone because it drains us. Thus, we’re usually on the phone as little as possible. Some people find a text message impersonal. Not us, nope.
We prefer it and will value your text just as much, if not more, than a call. You’ve connected with us and didn’t require us to use a lot of energy to do it. Win! And definitely someone we’ll look forward to connecting with again.
10. If You Must Call, Schedule
I get it. You can’t carry out an entire friendship via text. But if you must call, there’s nothing wrong with scheduling it.
Scheduling phone calls gives us time to prepare and make sure we’ve gathered enough energy to stay engaged in the conversation. It also makes it more likely we’ll want to talk to you again.
11. No Surprise Guests
If we have plans, please don’t invite others without giving us a heads-up. It takes more energy to hang out with more people, especially if it’s people we don’t know. We may not have prepared for that.
Plus, we’re more likely to want to spend time with people we know won’t throw us curve balls (like inviting surprise guests).
12. Respect Their Need to Leave
Additionally, speaking about group activities, understand that we may need to leave sooner than you want. We may enjoy hanging with the same group of friends but for a smaller amount of time. Introverts know when we’ve reached our limit on social energy.
When this happens we retreat to our quiet places. Just being ok with that is something we’ll remember and appreciate about you.
13. Remember How They Show Value
Remember that introverts show value a little differently. They won’t use a lot of words to show they’re glad to have you in their life. Other ways they show value include writing, supporting, and listening.
Introverts are great listeners. It’s one of our superpowers. When we’re using this skill to show interest and support for you, it’s a good indicator that we value you.
So, just be on the lookout for something different than the norm so you can return appreciation when it happens.
Ways to Make an Introvert You’re Dating Miss You
Hoping to gain an introvert’s interest? Or, maybe you already have. If you’ve found yourself fortunate enough to be in a romantic relationship with an introvert, these tips are for you.
14. Be Reliable and Predictable
Introverts do not like unexpected changes no matter how much we wish we did. Notice I didn’t say surprises. In a strange way, we are usually ok with surprises if we know it’s a surprise.
Expecting one thing to happen and having to adapt to something totally different is what we have a hard time with. So, if you want your introvert to miss you, make sure that with you they don’t have to worry about being in unpredictable situations.
A simpler way of putting it … if you make plans, keep those plans. Barring unforeseen circumstances of course. It’s ok to leave room for spontaneity. Just make sure we’re just as into it as you are rather than being dragged into it.
15. Let Them Lead Into Their Space
Introverts need their personal space and alone time (usually their home). Don’t be put off if they don’t rush to invite you into it. It’s a big step and one that a lot of people will take at a slower pace.
Allowing them to lead the way to that step rather than being pressured into it will make your introvert feel comfortable and secure with you. Thus, making them miss spending time with you.
16. Show Interest in Their Passion
If there’s something they are passionate about, it’s a good idea to learn more about it (preferably from them). Sharing something they enjoy is definitely a way to make them miss you. Plus, it’s also a great way to grow a relationship.
Feel free to ask them to reciprocate by learning about something you’re passionate about as well.
17. Give Personal Gifts
Give them gifts that are just for them. For context, the opposite would be a gift that you are hoping to enjoy as well. For gift ideas, think about the type of person they are, and their needs and likes. Things they can use to help them recharge are great gift options for an introvert partner.
Personal, thoughtful gifts are a great way to make your introvert miss you.
18. Learn Their Love Language
In a nutshell, The 5 Love Languages categorize a person’s preferences for expressions of love – what speaks to them the most. The categories are – in no particular order – gifts, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. If you’re not familiar with the love languages, you can learn more about them here.
This is something you’ll want to know If you’re hoping you and your introvert fall in love. Learn what your introvert’s preference is and use that to guide how you communicate your affection.
19. Read Our Cues
You’ll learn pretty quickly what our cues, intentional or unintentional, are for when we’ve had enough in social situations. When we’ve expended all our social energy and need to leave or be alone.
Introvert burnout cues can change from person to person but are typically some version of irritability, negativity, or stress and anxiety.
The sooner you know what to look for, the sooner you’ll be able to support them and their needs. This level of understanding and communication will place you on the top of their favorite people list.
Ways to Make Your Introvert Family Miss You
Everyone has at least one introvert in their family, and probably more. Wondering if they’ve given you a second thought since the last family reunion? Use these tips to make your introverted family miss you.
20. Believe What They Say
If they say they love you, believe them. They may not express it in the way you’d expect or want but that doesn’t mean it’s any less true.
Displays of emotion can be very uncomfortable for us quiet types so take our word for it, and don’t make us have to say it over and over.
21. Don’t Put Them on the Spot
Family is notorious for wanting to know everything about your life. However, introverts tend to be private people and don’t really care to talk about themselves all that much.
They would not enjoy going over every little detail of their life, especially when it’s unexpected and in front of a bunch of other people.
The way to get your introverted family to talk to you again is to keep it simple. Ask one or two questions and let them fill in any other information they’re comfortable sharing.
22. Don’t Ignore But Don’t Push
Yes, the vibe you’re getting is correct. Your introverted family would prefer to be left alone most of the time. But not all of the time.
One of the best things for getting them to miss you is to include them but don’t push them. If they want to join a social event, great. If not, be ok with that decision too, and try not to take it personally.
23. Look for Small Group Activities
Additionally, if you want your introverted family to miss you, give them opportunities to see you without having to do so in large groups. Big crowds are draining for introverts even when it’s family.
For example, lunch with them and one other family member, or mutual friend, would be a great change of pace to a large family dinner.
24. Send Gentle Check-ins
Little check-ins here and there, such as a text to say hi, are welcomed and appreciated by introverts. It shows you’re thinking of us in a way that allows us to respond when we’re ready.
Doing this periodically is a great way to make an introvert miss you. Just don’t make it too often or risk crossing the line into annoying.
25. Show Their Kind of Support
Supporting someone is a great way to get them to miss you. For introverts, it’s important to show support in a way that matters to them.
For instance, if they say they’d appreciate words of encouragement in a card or personal note, don’t show up with a power scarf or tie because you thought it was great.
And furthermore, if we didn’t ask for a hug, please don’t assume we need one and force us both into an awkward situation.
25 Unforgettable Ways to Make an Introvert Miss You
All in all, wanting someone to miss you means you care, and you want to know they care too. This is a good thing. It’s just a little trickier when you’re dealing with an introvert.
These 25 tips on how to make an introvert miss you are just the thing to help. So, give them a try. They’re sure to be a game-changer for all your introvert relationships.
