A man and a woman enter a coffee shop. They sit down and have a great conversation. All of a sudden the woman declares it’s been nice but she needs to get going now.
She then stands, turns around and walks straight out the door. The man says bye but continues to sit there a little perplexed.
He’s wondering to himself sooo… was this a good date or a bad date?
It might sound confusing but it really isn’t when you know what to look for. There are subtle signs an introvert secretly likes you. And that’s just what I’m going to help you identify here.
Generally, when introverts start doing things they wouldn’t normally do, it’s a pretty good sign that they’re into you. However, that would require you to know what things introverts don’t normally do. So let’s start there.
Introverts and People
Generally speaking, introverts try to avoid being around people, at least in a big crowd or for a long time. This is typical because it requires a lot of energy for us to be in social situations for very long.
We also live in our heads mostly so interacting with people outside of ourselves doesn’t tend to be our priority. We value our quiet time and our privacy.
When introverts start to change these behaviors, you know their feeling you. Hopefully, this will be a good foundation for you to understand the signs an introvert secretly likes you.
12 Signs an Introvert Secretly Likes You
1. They Initiate Communication
Introverts rarely initiate communication with anyone unless absolutely necessary. Sometimes even when they’re sitting right in front of them.
So if they’re reaching out to you on their own accord, they’re genuinely interested in talking with you and were probably thinking about you. Take it as a good sign!
Typically, reaching out would be unprompted text messages. If it’s a phone call, whoa! That means a lot which leads me to the next sign.
2. They Answer the Phone
I’ve already explained that introverts don’t really initiate communication. They especially don’t like talking on the phone. If there’s a way to communicate what they need to without phone calls, they will find it.
So if you call and they answer the phone and sound happy to do so, this is definitely a sign they like you.
3. They Open Up
Introverts are good listeners and they’re very good at deep conversations. In fact, they prefer deeper conversations to small talk or general chit-chat.
If you are having deep conversations with them, that means they’re enjoying talking with you, getting to know you, and spending time with you.
Additionally, if they are sharing their innermost thoughts (remember we live in our heads) this is another sure sign they really like you. It means they’re inviting you into all those thoughts they have swirling around in their heads – which not everyone gets to do.
4. They Share Their Passions
Lots of people think being quiet is the same as being uninterested … in anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the introverts I know are passionate about a lot of different things.
We just don’t tell everyone about all the things we put ourselves into.
When we meet someone we like, we want to invite them into this part of us because we want them to know us. It’s our way of trying to form a deeper connection. So if they are sharing their passions with you, it’s a clear sign they like you.
5. They Invite You to Join Them
Speaking of all those things that introverts enjoy … if they like you, they not only talk about their passions, they invite you to join them when doing those things.
Introverts are loners by nature. It’s our preference. So when we invite someone else to spend time with us, especially doing something we’re passionate about, it’s our way of showing we enjoy your company.
6. They Let You Meet Their People
Introverts don’t like to surround themselves with a lot of people, especially not at one time. However, they still have relationships that are meaningful to them.
Adding to their fierce loyalty, the people they choose to keep close are very important to them.
So if you find yourself with your introvert crush introducing you to their close friends and family, take that as a sign of trust. And, yes, they like you!
7. They Want to Know More About You
Introverts can be quite aloof. This is probably one of our most confusing interesting quirks. We think deeply about things and are terrible at small talk. This often leads to us appearing distracted or disinterested in other people.
Sometimes this is true but, more often than not, we’re just lost in our thoughts about something else altogether. And we don’t find small talk to be a good use of time.
That being said, if we’re giving you prolonged eye contact, asking you questions about yourself, and trying to stimulate conversation, that’s a sign we have a genuine interest in learning more about you.
I mean, hey, just holding our full attention longer than a few minutes is a sign that we like you in itself. 😆
8. They Let You Into Their Personal Space
For introverts, our home is our comfort zone. It’s where an introvert feels the most secure and the most relaxed. Usually, it’s also the place we recharge the best.
Besides home, places where we can have alone time or quiet time and reflect are other examples of comfort zones.
If there’s a place like this for an introvert and they invite you into it, appreciate what that means.
It means they’re giving up some of their comfort and some of their quiet time, which is a big deal for introverts. They’re choosing to share this place with YOU. There’s a good chance they like you.
9. They Express Physical Affection
Because we are a socially awkward bunch, introverts tend to avoid physical affection. Especially with people they don’t know very well.
This is one sign an introvert likes you that is similar to extroverts. Body language is powerful! Most people will try to find some type of physical contact to make with a person they’re interested in.
However, with an introvert, physical touch may look a little bit different. It won’t be very overt so watch for the little things. It may just be finding a way to touch your arm or your shoulder or hug you when they see you or before they leave you.
These are subtle cues they are looking for ways to be closer to you without having to say so.
10. They’ll Approach You If They See You
This sounds funny but another thing introverts do is avoid people they casually know in public. Not all the time and it usually doesn’t extend to someone close like a family member or friends.
However, if we are just not feeling up to faking small talk, we’ll avoid people altogether. It might sound shady but, knowing we’re not good at small talk, we’d rather wait until the next opportunity for a better conversation with that person.
This is preferable to expensing our limited energy resources on trying to say hi in a socially acceptable, bubbly way.
Conversely, if your introvert crush sees you, they’re pretty much always going to say hello. So, if they come up to you to say hello (when they had a perfectly good opportunity to avoid you 🤭), they kind of like you.
11. They Look for Something You Can Share
Connecting over shared interests is a great way to form a relationship or get to know someone better. This is no different for introverts. Especially since we don’t really do small talk, we love finding other ways we can connect with someone.
And if it’s someone we like, we’ll be intentional about finding something we can share with you. So if you see them introducing ideas of things that you can do together, take that as a sign they secretly like you.
12. They’ll Try New Things With You
Typically introverts know what they like and what they don’t like. But for a person they’re interested in, they would be willing to try something new or different.
Even if it means being a little uncomfortable. It’s a way for them to form a special connection with you. If they don’t like it, they’ll definitely tell you afterward 😂 but, with you, they’d be more willing to try it to begin with.
These are some telltale signs an introvert secretly likes you but now what? Where did you go from here? Read on for a few tips on what to do if you like them back, and what to do if you don’t.
What to Do When You Know They Like You
First, let’s address the big question of why the secret. Why not just come right out and say hey, I like you.
There are a few reasons for that. For one, introverts are very private and hesitant to share their feelings with others. We also shy away from personal topics until we’ve gotten to know someone better. All people are hesitant about things like this because it forces them to be vulnerable to another person.
Introverts overthink things on top of that. That means they’ve had time to imagine the worst possible outcomes and will be even more careful to avoid them.
Generally, if you’ve gained an introvert’s interest, it’s best to tread lightly. Especially if this is someone you’d like to maintain a positive relationship with either way.
If you like them, find ways to reciprocate the signs they’re sending you. If you don’t like them, find gentle ways to let them know you’d like to remain friends.
3 Tips If You Don’t Like Them Back
- Be honest and clear. Try not to leave room for ambiguity. Nobody likes to be in a place where they aren’t sure what they mean to you. Introverts are especially sensitive to this because, again, the overthinking is real!
- Be kind. Just because you’re not interested in someone doesn’t mean it can’t be communicated with kindness. That goes for introverts and anyone else.
- Don’t make it weird. Say what you need to say, make sure they understand, then keep it moving. You don’t have to be rude with it but don’t linger around too long.
Lingering forces them to have to figure out their feelings in front of someone (introverts are not good at this). Or even worse, fain some type of weird oh, ok, sure, it’s fine, whatever type of response. 🙄
3 Tips If You Do Like Them
- Resist the urge to pressure them to communicate like you. If you have romantic feelings for an introvert, take them as they are. If you approach them with any ideas like “bringing them out of their shell” you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Guess what! Most introverts like their shell and have no desire to be extroverted. - Show that you like them too. I’m assuming you’re reading this because you’re not an introvert yourself. If that’s the case, here’s where you have an opportunity. It’s a lot easier for you to be upfront about your feelings than it is for your introvert crush.
So go ahead and make the first move! Let them know you like them too. It’ll be much easier and a lot less pressure for them to reciprocate. - Value their trust. Inviting you into their space. Sharing their passions with you. These all require an element of trust for introverts. Make sure you honor that and respect that it wasn’t easy for them to do so.
Closing Thoughts
I hope this helps unveil some of the mystery behind whether an introvert secretly likes you or not. Look for the signs and handle them with care. Already have a special introvert in your life? Check these out to learn more about your special, quiet someone. 😍
